অনুরণন

Angry, Super Angry, A Head that can't stop thinking, Splitting Headache, 2 days old Hopeful, Why Now?, Shy, Curious Angry, Eyes Wavering but watching, Can't get enough  Audible heartbeats, Wishful Just wanting to know, There's much to talk Why are all these people here? Can't focus, Abrupt as always Still, In Love. Dated: Dec 21, 2019  

How many of us mothers really have an opinion on what kind of parenting is best for our children? Have we really given this a serious thought and taken steps towards achieving a certain kind of parenting. That's why I think "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" really matters. Because through this book, the author and mother, Amy Chua establishes 1) The need to give parenting a serious thought 2) and shares her personal insights on the advantages of Chinese parenting v/s Western parenting. For Indian parents this book a lot of sense because Chinese parenting isn't very different from Indian parenting. It is just a lot more, a lot lot more rigorous going by the book. Chinese parents want their children to always get top grades. As a Chinese kid, you cannot get low grades especially in Maths and Science. You get restricted play time. You have to excel in playing an instrument. You have to be obedient at all times abiding by every rule your parents make. You are expec...

While 2017 was completely abuzz with work, family gatherings and my daughter growing up, I didn't exactly float through happy into 2018. A death in the family, visa troubles and vacuum in work marred the last few days of 2017. I know it sounds stupid but as per astrology these are the last few tough days and post January 14, I and my family will have reason to cheer. (I will let you know if this was true!) Meanwhile I am killing time in innovative ways and trying to reason out my life's purpose all over again. When nothing is there to do, I have several ideas popping up like hopeful soap bubbles. But most of them burst on hitting the possibility of reality. I know I have to pick one of these and work on it to make it happen, to make myself happen in 2018. One thought that makes me happy is whatever I do pick now will be something I really mean to do and would be something I have earned for myself. For the first time in life, things are not coming to me easily and so I can fe...

Ending a relationship needs courage. Here I am, ending my 5.5 yr relationship with my workplace.The only way I know to do it best is by writing. Mechanically and systematically going over my memories, filtering out the best moments - the positive ones and forgetting the bad ones. Memories purposefully purging their way through my head, so it can filter, well. All is well that ends well, isn't it. Why do we work? To feel happy, proud, satisfied. Of course  to earn money. But in the end, what remains are memories. Monies stay in the back account, in wardrobes, in shoe-racks, in phones, in I-pads. But memories stay in our heart and heads until we die. Feelings of happiness and satisfaction stay with us forever. Friends stay with us for forever. What we've learnt will stay with us forever. GDS has given me a lot and I am grateful for that. I have learnt a lot here, pretty much everything I know about "Education", I learnt it here. The company has been immensely supp...

Same time last year, the reflective last few hours of 2015, I had decided that in 2016 I will take out time to do few things out of routine, out of my general commitments to family and work. I will do this to enrich myself with new knowledge, to gain new experiences and to continue to discover myself even as I am turning boringly old in the 30's club.  I opened an unused Diary and jotted down three headings in three pages: Five new books, Five new places, Five new things to do. It may seem as a rather simple target to set for few, but once you are on a vicious homemaker-mother-employee cycle, this simple target seems almost impossible to accomplish. So was I able to accomplish what I set to achieve? Let me start with the books 📖. To be honest, I don't get more than 10 minutes a day to give to a book and I get these 10 minutes when I am at the loo. This has become my secret 'me' time where I can loose myself (pun intended) in a book, in a story, in a characte...

Who in this world has the time to make something for you, with their own hands? In the age of assembly line like production for pretty much everything including our daily diet, handicraft stores come as a welcome change. Luckily, I live in Vadodara, Gujarat – a city well known for being a producer and marketer of Gujarat’s handicraft products. Here are some reflections from a recent handicraft exhibition visit. Kutch embroidery work, popularly known as Kutch work is love at first sight for me. One can find me staring in awe at those intricately sewn thread work patterns replete with mirrors and beads. The colourful patterns hypnotize me of sorts, making it hard to take my eyes off them. When you hold a Kachchi cloth in your hand, you can feel how heavy the thread work has made the underlying fabric, brushing upon you a whiff and some loose threads left by the worker who originally made it. Kutch work is done on a host of items – blouses, skirts, hand bags, pillow covers, bed sprea...

The world is full of people and people are full of thoughts, ideas and feelings. We live in a society and enjoy the company of friends and family. But what happens when these people who share your life, who become a part of it by virtue of relationships or friendships contribute in negative ways to your life. People share negative thoughts, negative ideas, negative emotions and constantly prod you to be party to their "negative" thought process. Infact, things like news and television can also constantly add to your daily dose of negativity. You, if you are like me, on the inside don't like that they are talking so negatively about say a person but on the outside nod your head or stare as if you are watching Arnab Goswami on Primetime, without basically adding anything to what they are saying. You would think that this was a good way of handling "negative talk" situations. But after repeated exposure to such incidents I have understood that even if you do no...

Yesterday, my daughter turned two. That marked 730 days of awesomeness with her! To be honest, not all the 730 days were exactly awesome, some were terrible and some I marvel that I got through. To note a few of the ups and downs in this mommy journey of mine, I write this self appraisal note and wonder what's my next KRA (key responsibility area in corporate lingo). The first 10 days: Inexperience, fear, pain and the added pain of responsibility. This sunk me in. I was overwhelmed with emotions I am scared to even think about again. Happiness crept in much, much later. The whole idea that a living thing was dependent on me scared me to tears. Of course, her presence in my arms still kept me going, brought in the fierce mother's courage and told me to do what I need to do. The first six months: She lived ONLY on my milk for six months! At times when I was away from her for more than two-three hours, I panicked to reach back to her. I think I was addicted to feeding he...

Few are White. Few are Black. Most are Grey, alright. It's tough to be White. It's tough to be Black. It's easy to be Grey, alright. White has No Compromise. Black has Little Conscience. Grey has No Other Choice! Alright. White feels good. Black feels bad. Grey is life and Grey is human. I am grey grey grey, alright.

Some relationships never get closure, And some dreams never get freedom.

I recently read that upcycling is the new recycling. Instead of crushing up and using waste products in a different form altogether, upcycling is basically reinventing a waste product and giving it a whole new purpose as well as value. I think  I might have two examples of this at my place.     #1 - I upcycled Cereal and Cerelac boxes into CD holders. It helps me keep CDs organized and easy to pick from. I could've have used waste paper to label them but I'm saving that task for a later date.   #2 - We had a waste top cover of a flush tank. Thought of making it into a plant holder. Successfully grew some plants in it and it looked good for a few days. I'm looking for plants that could grow in such short depths, that would definitely make this work better.  

The one thing that my fellow nation dwellers are ready to give away promptly, the one thing they are ready to gift to any random stranger, the one thing they don't mind parting away with for FREE -  is that friendly neighbourhood plastic bag. They seem to commit this act of charity or what they think is an act of supreme courtesy with so much pride that it puts me to shame (for not wanting one of those plastic bags). I call them neighbourhood plastic bags because that's where I find them, in every bit of space in my neighbourhood. Littering the sides of otherwise decent looking streets, road corners; loitering around every household dustbin; carelessly strewn in apartment corridors, parks, play areas, parking lots and pretty much anywhere my eyes reach. I think I see them more than I see people. Or have I just begun to notice these plastic beings more than human beings? Yes, I have begun to HATE the sight of these. There seems to be no end in sight for the production and ...

Sometimes I listen to your eyes that narrate vividly the depths of your love for me. Sometimes I breathe in and out of ecstasy until I feel you inside of me. Sometimes I wait for time to pass by and let us be. Sometimes I giggle merrily just to watch you watch me. Sometimes I cry to see if tears still come to me? Sometimes, I question if good times will always be? and then regret my doubts over thee. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like, to not have you beside me? That's when I know what your love means to me.

Don't you treat me like a convenience store. We are friends no more. Now that you are far as you wish I want to say good bye to you bitch.  I put that in because it rhymes, but i chuckle at the splendid coincidence!  I feel sad from within that you did this to me. We were friends before but not any more.  

I know most of us have given this a thought - How can I contribute to a greener planet given that I don't want to take too much trouble doing so. If you haven't yet given this a thought then maybe this is a good time to do so. I have at least 5 really simple things you can do and feel much greener about yourself. It is not going to be too hard but it might need you to be more thoughtful and might need some practice as well! 1) Carry your luggage in your own bag! In other words, avoid plastic bags. This is probably not the first time you are reading that. But the fact is this one act can save us much. It you are already taking your own bags to supermarkets, then you have made a start. Just remember to avoid plastic bags in any form and at any place. Read, make note and practice: a) As far as possible avoid unplanned shopping trips b) Keep a bag handy in your purse and vehicles c) Carry enough number of bags.. just in case! d) Try being an extreme - avoid accepting...

Just let it come back to me naturally. I think it has, after three years and a baby.

Time is running away from me. As I struggle to make sense of the world I am in, never for a moment forgiving myself that I was the one who created this very world for myself, I get more and more swallowed in its depths. I wonder if I can ever pull myself back to the surface and breathe. I really honestly want to breathe. Why can't I get a second chance? Why. Or rather how can I get a second chance without disappointing those around me and those who depend on me. I have been told that I need to ignore these people and what they expect of me and find my second chance, otherwise I am going to die. This could be the truth and I think that the time is coming very close. Should I be glad or should I be scared of the consequences of breaking away, from familiarity. As a person who has almost never taken a chance, it sure is time for one. But this is also the time for more responsibilities. I do realize and so do you now, that this vicious cycle threatens to continue. Fyi: Written du...

I didn’t like the first look of Delhi. The language was new to me, the people were rather rude and the weather was awful. When my family landed there, it was hot, really hot. Since the admission deadlines for most schools were over, I joined a school called Kathuria Public School in south Delhi. It was almost like a government school with very limited facilities. My parents weren’t too happy about my being in this school. Tin roofed row of classes and a play ground in the middle, this was not “our” standard. I also thought this school was about okay (at least the look of it) and I did hope to move out from there the next year. I made a good friend whose case had been similar to mine. We had been too late to join any other school. Nevertheless we enjoyed every day there. The teachers, students everyone around me seemed really nice. I actually quite loved it. A year went by easily. My parents applied for my admission in Delhi Public School. Yes, the popular and much acclaimed “big” s...

We lived together for many a year. The growing up days were not easy at all. Hand in hand we braced it all. You watched on me as I tried to steer a paper boat on a stream that sprung up from rain o dear! You were the only one to witness my dance uninhibited. You were the audience before the show. You have been my student as I loved to teach. Ah! the blackboard, me and you together it taught me to learn. You stood by me and gave me rest. As i faced test by test. I have cried in your arms and laughed in your chest. My little corner, my own space I came to you, when I lost pace. I hugged you tight and let it pass while you kissed me good night. I have dreamed many a dream and sung many a song in your garden of grace. You gave me friends, you saw me win you saw me lose you saw me grow up within. I owe to you We owe to you, a better life. but tell me, what can we do? You let us go and I'll let you know For the last time, I'll sleep with you and let you know. I have memories of you t...

Conversations. We have them every day amongst family and friends and even acquaintances. I don't think a whole lot about most of them. But there are some that leave me with a sense of satisfaction, joy, just a smile or just more questions. These are the ones I'd like to take note of. Think about why they were so. Why do we linger on to some conversations more than the others? Let's see. My most enjoyable conversations are with my good friend, AB (let me name her that). We have uber long talks about each and every detail of our lives. With that details I mean those that are necessary for her to understand the situation or what we are currently going through. Each time we talk about the major life events between our 2 conversations we digress into discussing so much about the past. These conversations would have been hard to come by if she had not been a part of my life for the last 10 years. She is part of so much of my life that i cannot imagine having such a conversation w...