A note to myself.. Hello 2018!

While 2017 was completely abuzz with work, family gatherings and my daughter growing up, I didn't exactly float through happy into 2018. A death in the family, visa troubles and vacuum in work marred the last few days of 2017. I know it sounds stupid but as per astrology these are the last few tough days and post January 14, I and my family will have reason to cheer. (I will let you know if this was true!)

Meanwhile I am killing time in innovative ways and trying to reason out my life's purpose all over again. When nothing is there to do, I have several ideas popping up like hopeful soap bubbles. But most of them burst on hitting the possibility of reality. I know I have to pick one of these and work on it to make it happen, to make myself happen in 2018. One thought that makes me happy is whatever I do pick now will be something I really mean to do and would be something I have earned for myself. For the first time in life, things are not coming to me easily and so I can fee…

The best way to end something.

Ending a relationship needs courage. Here I am, ending my 5.5 yr relationship with my workplace.The only way I know to do it best is by writing. Mechanically and systematically going over my memories, filtering out the best moments - the positive ones and forgetting the bad ones. Memories purposefully purging their way through my head, so it can filter, well. All is well that ends well, isn't it.
Why do we work? To feel happy, proud, satisfied. Of course  to earn money. But in the end, what remains are memories. Monies stay in the back account, in wardrobes, in shoe-racks, in phones, in I-pads. But memories stay in our heart and heads until we die. Feelings of happiness and satisfaction stay with us forever. Friends stay with us for forever. What we've learnt will stay with us forever.

GDS has given me a lot and I am grateful for that. I have learnt a lot here, pretty much everything I know about "Education", I learnt it here. The company has been immensely supportiv…

Year of beginnings, 2016

Same time last year, the reflective last few hours of 2015, I had decided that in 2016 I will take out time to do few things out of routine, out of my general commitments to family and work. I will do this to enrich myself with new knowledge, to gain new experiences and to continue to discover myself even as I am turning boringly old in the 30's club. 
I opened an unused Diary and jotted down three headings in three pages: Five new books, Five new places, Five new things to do. It may seem as a rather simple target to set for few, but once you are on a vicious homemaker-mother-employee cycle, this simple target seems almost impossible to accomplish. So was I able to accomplish what I set to achieve?
Let me start with the books 📖. To be honest, I don't get more than 10 minutes a day to give to a book and I get these 10 minutes when I am at the loo. This has become my secret 'me' time where I can loose myself (pun intended) in a book, in a story, in a character. This i…

Art with a Heart!

Who in this world has the time to make something for you, with their own hands? In the age of assembly line like production for pretty much everything including our daily diet, handicraft stores come as a welcome change. Luckily, I live in Vadodara, Gujarat – a city well known for being a producer and marketer of Gujarat’s handicraft products. Here are some reflections from a recent handicraft exhibition visit. Kutch embroidery work, popularly known as Kutch work is love at first sight for me. One can find me staring in awe at those intricately sewn thread work patterns replete with mirrors and beads. The colourful patterns hypnotize me of sorts, making it hard to take my eyes off them. When you hold a Kachchi cloth in your hand, you can feel how heavy the thread work has made the underlying fabric, brushing upon you a whiff and some loose threads left by the worker who originally made it. Kutch work is done on a host of items – blouses, skirts, hand bags, pillow covers, bed spreads a…

Kick out Negativity

The world is full of people and people are full of thoughts, ideas and feelings. We live in a society and enjoy the company of friends and family. But what happens when these people who share your life, who become a part of it by virtue of relationships or friendships contribute in negative ways to your life. People share negative thoughts, negative ideas, negative emotions and constantly prod you to be party to their "negative" thought process. Infact, things like news and television can also constantly add to your daily dose of negativity.

You, if you are like me, on the inside don't like that they are talking so negatively about say a person but on the outside nod your head or stare as if you are watching Arnab Goswami on Primetime, without basically adding anything to what they are saying. You would think that this was a good way of handling "negative talk" situations. But after repeated exposure to such incidents I have understood that even if you do not …

Two years of mommy-ness

Yesterday, my daughter turned two. That marked 730 days of awesomeness with her! To be honest, not all the 730 days were exactly awesome, some were terrible and some I marvel that I got through. To note a few of the ups and downs in this mommy journey of mine, I write this self appraisal note and wonder what's my next KRA (key responsibility area in corporate lingo).
The first 10 days: Inexperience, fear, pain and the added pain of responsibility. This sunk me in. I was overwhelmed with emotions I am scared to even think about again. Happiness crept in much, much later. The whole idea that a living thing was dependent on me scared me to tears. Of course, her presence in my arms still kept me going, brought in the fierce mother's courage and told me to do what I need to do.
The first six months: She lived ONLY on my milk for six months! At times when I was away from her for more than two-three hours, I panicked to reach back to her. I think I was addicted to feeding her more t…

Grey Grey Grey

Few are White.
Few are Black.
Most are Grey, alright.

It's tough to be White.
It's tough to be Black.
It's easy to be Grey, alright.

White has No Compromise.
Black has Little Conscience.
Grey has No Other Choice! Alright.

White feels good.
Black feels bad.
Grey is life and
Grey is human.

I am grey grey grey, alright.