Two years of mommy-ness

Yesterday, my daughter turned two. That marked 730 days of awesomeness with her! To be honest, not all the 730 days were exactly awesome, some were terrible and some I marvel that I got through. To note a few of the ups and downs in this mommy journey of mine, I write this self appraisal note and wonder what's my next KRA (key responsibility area in corporate lingo).

The first 10 days: Inexperience, fear, pain and the added pain of responsibility. This sunk me in. I was overwhelmed with emotions I am scared to even think about again. Happiness crept in much, much later. The whole idea that a living thing was dependent on me scared me to tears. Of course, her presence in my arms still kept me going, brought in the fierce mother's courage and told me to do what I need to do.

The first six months: She lived ONLY on my milk for six months! At times when I was away from her for more than two-three hours, I panicked to reach back to her. I think I was addicted to feeding her more than she was to feeding from me. The feeding sessions were very long at first but as she gained more power to suckle, the duration reduced and I was glad for that! I used feeding times to read books, mostly. Initially, I read 'Chicken Soup for the New Mom's Soul' which I am really grateful to for helping me regain some mental balance. Then I read up most of the Mahabharat albeit in comic form by Amar Chitra Katha, secretly hoping to transfer some of the wisdom from this epic to my daughter. I'd rather forget her colic cries which used to ring in itself regularly at evening hours of each day. But happy to be done with it!

7th month to 12th month: I took care of her for around 3 months this time all by myself (working part time from home), as in no support from mom or mom-in-law. I was so proud of myself. Things that helped me get through this was the jhoola in Hindi or jholi in Kannada (in which she slept peacefully multiple times in a day) and lots of toys which kept her busy. This was also an amazing developmental period for my daughter. She learnt to sit up, crawl on fours, walk, sit back on things all in a matter of days. It was simply touching to watch every minute of her growth. I took numerous pictures at this time and completely loved photographing her! We had a lovely mother-daughter time.

12th month to 18th month: I stopped giving her oil massages because it was getting impossible to hold her in one place. This period I spent a lot of time with my parents and in-laws at their places. New people, new environments had their challenges but we knew this is just the beginning, we have lots of new people and places left to see. Enjoyed every bit of time spent with her grandparents. Finally and forcefully stopped feeding her but tremendously satisfied to have given my best!

18th month to 24th month: I see that my daughter is getting very independent. She eats on her own, doesn't like to be fed. She's learning new words and new things all the time. She's wearing clothes by herself. She's familiar with how to use my cell phone which is not a surprise in today's times. She's picked up so many words in so many languages! She has more sense of what's happening around her and I cannot cheat her no more. So the challenges are getting difficult by the day, for me, to keep her occupied and to keep myself sane. 

Definitely feeling good after two years of mommy-ness as I too grew up a whole lot and learnt a great deal. Well done indeed! So, as my daughter turns two, as I see it,  I have in front of me, a life that I can shape, a mind that I can open up and a personality that I can do much to develop. KRAs (responsibilities) just got bigger and better. 

Appraisal done, now there's work to do from two to twenty and then some!