Vicious weave

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Time is running away from me. As I struggle to make sense of the world I am in, never for a moment forgiving myself that I was the one who created this very world for myself, I get more and more swallowed in its depths. I wonder if I can ever pull myself back to the surface and breathe. I really honestly want to breathe. Why can't I get a second chance? Why. Or rather how can I get a second chance without disappointing those around me and those who depend on me. I have been told that I need to ignore these people and what they expect of me and find my second chance, otherwise I am going to die. This could be the truth and I think that the time is coming very close.
Should I be glad or should I be scared of the consequences of breaking away, from familiarity. As a person who has almost never taken a chance, it sure is time for one.
But this is also the time for more responsibilities. I do realize and so do you now, that this vicious cycle threatens to continue.

Fyi: Written during one of those 'testing' times. Don't worry, feeling much better now! 

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